Failed Lap Band

"After 6 years, for every failed gastric bypass, there were 4 failed lap bands (with failure determined by BMI greater than 35 or reversal of the procedure). For every 1 long-term bypass complication there were 2 lap band complications, and for every 1 re-operation of a bypassed patient, there were 2 of lap banded ones."

This is from here http://www.weightymatters.ca/2012/01/gastric-bypasses-destroy-lap-bands-in.html

So I have a failed lap band ....  yep its true ... I can not get restriction ... I can not find that balance 5.5cc is too loose and 5.6cc is too tight...  Is it me ... Am I the failure.. or is the bank not the right fit for me...

So very devastated to be heading towards 2 years post banding and still have a BMI above 35 ...

I have been soul searching mixing it up.. exercising ...I feel like I am a merry-go-round ... I am either starving or pbing... I chuck everyday ... even on shakes and mushies...

I have booked a second opinion  with another surgeon but can't get in till April 18th ....

I need to gather myself up and make a plan until then... I need my life back.. I need my self esteem back I need to feel ok in my own skin...  Sob sob sob

I will keep blogging the progress as I need an outlet so badly and feel like such a failure .... I am so embarrassed ..

Update ....head first fearless

So after my September post, things got really bad the band was so tight !  I went for 26hours with out being able to get a drop of water down and bringing up my spit every few hours. By the time I realised that not even water was going down it was past 10pm. So I waited till 8am rang the doctors office and they squeezed me in for 11am. Not thinking right I headed into work for a few hours so I could get everything done and make my appointment with out taking a sick day. I made it till 10am before I was mid sentence and hit the deck.. never having fainted before it was an awful experience. My co-worker got an Gelco in me and some IV fluids and I was fine just dry as a chip! Luck for me I work in a large hospital so everything was at hand.

So off to the doc I went..in the waiting room I was suddenly over come up the need to pb and I did a large amount of what looked like dark brown cottage cheese ... My medical training told me I'd just vomited blood and my Doc then confirmed it. So sadly the band was completely deflated and an endoscopy was booked, I was given some tablets for reflux and told to go back to fluids. This was the end of September and they could not do the endoscope till December 1st!!!!!

So no fill from September till December arhhhh it was terrible ...... The Endo showed reflux with some damage from it other wise normal no slippage no erosion all OK. So it was another week before I could get back into see them for a fill. So 3 weeks post fill now and I am plodding and very ready for my next fill next Thursday 12th !

I have started a 12 week challenge using meal replacements 2 a day to kick start 2012 for me till i get this fill in the right spot! I am ready and so very focused ....

My word for 2012 is FEARLESS ...