Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Answering to your friends!

Yesterday I had lunch with my gorgeous friend lets call her Mac. Every time I see her I leave feeling refresh, to some degree she challenges my thinking and always has no problems asking the hard questions.

So a few weeks ago I told her and her husband over lunch that I had booked to have LAP band surgery. She was quite stunned I think. So when we met for lunch yesterday she had processed, obviously discussed it at length with her husband and was armed and ready to hit me up with the questions!!! She is lucky I love her!

She asked all sorts of things, date, surgeon, time off work and cost. She also asked if I had already had some counselling .... She stated that she was worried... wasn't sure she agreed with it.. concerned I wouldn't be able to have children.. thinks it will affect my relationships negatively, suggested I will become vain.. and obsessed with my appearance.. she did throw in that she thinks I am attractive and that after weight loss I'll look amazing!! Bahahahhaha as if! but she isn't sold on the idea... she admitted that she has never been heavier then a size 12 so she didn't know how it felt! She was a tough audience!
To be honest these are things I really had not considered.. I had to giggle about me becoming vain and obsessed with my appearance it was kinda funny.. I cant wait to have that "problem". But I think I have a lot to get through before they are my major issues!

I am planning for the weight loss to take 12-18months at a minimum.. I don't think its going to be super rapid! I think she thought I'd wake up from surgery skinny... The word Skinny got thrown around a fair bit in our conversation... I never started this journey to be skinny... Skinny is a word I'd not include in my goals! I am doing this to lengthen my life and save my renal function.. Of course smaller jeans... "normal" clothes and gaining some confidence is all part of the journey!

I am sure she will have more questions.. I have to say I am so grateful I am only telling a handful of people! I do appreciate that she cares enough to ask the questions.. I feel a bit exposed by answering all the questions and sharing so much information with people but I think its part of the process and it kinda make me accountable!


Sleep tight K xx

4 comments:

The Former Fat Girl said...

yep! I get you. I also had the same fears and issues when I was deciding who to tell. Surprisingly my sisters reaction was not at all what I expected and it is only now ( 5 months later) that she is completely onboard and supportive.
In the long run this is about you and only you. So regardless of what people may think or say even family, you know that this is the right path for you and for your future !!!
You are doing the right thing and you will be so happy that you did !!

THE DASH! said...

Wow! On one hand I have to say that is one heck of a friend you have. She's obviously given what you told her a lot of thought and has the guts to face you and tell you on her own terms her own thoughts about it.

On the other, you hit the nail on the head. She's never been bigger than a size twelve and let's face it.. we don't have this surgery without a lot of forethought going in to it. If we could lose this weight and get our lives back on our terms, then that's the road we would have taken (and have no doubt tried over and over again!)

It's great that you heard your friend out but honestly? You stick to your guns and follow through. For me, this has been a life affirming moment... I have broken out of my shell, I'm happier, thinner, taking chances I wouldn't have taken seven odd months ago. Really? It's a win win situation with no downside. You go girl!!!
Cara

The Secret diaries of .... said...

Thanks ladies for your support xx

I think thats a common response from people..
" why cant you just diet and exercise". I think I'll die trying to diet and exercise... When is enough a enough! It wasnt till my endo said you have been doing this for 20 years that I finally embarked on the lap band journey!

It also amazes me how my most self assured confident, beautiful size 10-12 friends are in some ways challenged and to a degree threatened by my choice to have it..

xxx

ShoeGirl said...

Thank you so much for coming by to visit. Great blog! And I love the other blogs you are linked to! I especially love the one entitled, "What I weighed in high school" because I've been talking about that lately. You may have seen that on my blog post about my locker number at the gym. I will book mark you! Please don't hesitate to reach out to me with any lap band questions you may have.