Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Bad blogger

So I haven't blogged in a while... and in all honesty it's because I haven't been a very good bandster lately...

The scale is stuck.. although it seems to be going up more then down lately. Its bouncing around so much, bouncing around like a yoyo whats with that!

Ive tried all sorts of things to get things moving including a fill last week taking me too 6.1cc in my band the most I've ever had! My hunger is solved but the scale is still not shifting...

I think at the moment I am at the cross road and I just don't know how to keep traveling along the road....

I have a massive mental block with this is the lowest I have been in the last 10 years.

I loved getting to my lowest and have enjoyed all the things it has meant.. new clothes being in a solid smaller size  feeling confident. Its been a great time! but now I am a little sick of being here and am so very ready for thenext thing new territory scary...

So is it my head or my body that is hindering the weight loss or maybe I am yet to totally get that both need to be working together but how do I make that happen hmmmpphhhh!!

I cant wait to get my running groovy back.. maybe thats the key to this whole picture!!
xx

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

No Oprah tickets for me !! So so sad...

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Oprah!!!



So Oprah is coming to Australia!!! The ticket lottery just closed and I managed to register! I am so excited, Find out tomorrow if I am lucky enough to get some tickets !!!
Fingers and toes crossed!

So the situation is very clear I need a fill , I am going to see if I can get in on Tuesday as I am feeling a little desperate. The hunger today was awful actual painful tummy rumbles only 2 hours after eating it's been a long time since I have felt that! The scale is also so very stuck!

I had a moment over the weekend driving to work.. I was traveling down a hill in my car looking out over the sparkling blue ocean, the sun was shinning the sky was blue and I suddenly had this feeling overwhelm me.. A feeling of needing to get the job done, of conquering the weight loss demons once and for all !  It was like a power within was saying you can do this you just have to try!

So yes I believe I am now at a point where it's stay or keep going! I want and need to keep going. If I only ever lost another 20kg that would be totally ok with me.

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend !

xxxxx


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Loving "fatty gets a stylist"

Yes I know odd name for a band... they are really actually called "Fatty Gets a Stylist" and their new song is The Tiger Inside Love love love it!!! here's a link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYFAs1Tgh0U

So in other news hmmmm

I've been off sick for the last 3 day again tonsillitis nasty nasty!!! Have spent some time just being very quite apart from listening to Fatty gets a stylist. I am feeling very emotionally overwhelmed.

The changes to my body have caught up with me I look in the mirror and think wow who are you ? I find my self patting down my stomach and hips, I find it hard to believe that is my stomach and that its actually loose skin there as well as fat but much less fat then before..

Yesterday I was laying on my side in bed and I had the strange sensation between my knees... so I had a look and feel... um theres no fat there anymore to cushion the bones when they are laying together !!! crazy hey I've NEVER felt that before!!

The scale does not want to move its just bouncing around... I had a crazy wanting to go on a crash diet moment last night... WTF...the voice of reason kicked in... "it's only been 2 weeks since it hasn't moved down and you have been sick for 10 days of that and haven't been able to work out.. also the unfill only happened a week ago". Thank you voice of reason..

I am thinking of having a dramatic haircut on Friday... Short like this ...



I had my long hair cut 5 weeks ago from half way down my back to about 4 inches under my shoulders and its not working... not long enough to do anything with and too long to leave down so I end up with it pulled back everyday.. I have had hair extensions before theres something about long hair.. its like a secret club.. maybe I like to hide behind it... Not sure if my face will look fatter with short hair.. I need to do something!

My food goals at the moment are fresh nourishing food.. plenty of fresh veggies and lean meats.. Food to help me heal and nourish my body.. Trying to avoid chocolate I seem to have had a bad KitKat craving lately bad bad...

K xxx

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

changing the way I do business...

So I am feeling like I've reached the end of phase 1 of the band process!

I am now at the lowest weight that I have been able to achieve with every other type of weight loss attempt since 2005.
I saw my surgeon on Tuesday and it was decided that I should have a small unfill .2ml. This month I have PB'ed everyday sometimes more then once.. I've used sliders to get through the day lots of up and go and banana smoothies. I haven't been able to eat fruit, salad or some veggies. My weight loss this month has been half of what it was the month before. My surgeon believes I've lost the easy weight and now have to work harder for the next stage.

So deep breath... Phase 2 has commenced..

1200cals a day veggies, protein, fruit
3 meals a day
2L of water
Exercise 4 times a week

I'd be really interested in what other people are eating and how much.. Need to refocus and smash through this mental hurdle..

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Happy Davnce!!

So today I finally got some time to go clothes shopping!!! I went to a plus size store that I have shopped at for years.. Last time I shopped there I was buying size 20-22.. So today, I took a top into the change room in 3 sizes as I had no idea where to start I took sizes 20,18 & 16. Well I tried on all three sizes each time the top was too big... so I had to get the sales assistant to get me the size 14 the smallest size they do at this store AND it fitted I yelped loudly arhhhh excitement!!!

I also tried on some pants for summer 3/4 style.. after trying on meaning styles and sizes it became clear that the smallest size 16 they do in pants was too big in all styles!!! Now this is amazing and such a mile stone but also so scary, now I have to find somewhere else to shop!

After what has been one of the most challenging weeks at work, today on my day off I shopped for clothes, got an eyebrow wax, touched up my hair colour and got a pedicure, I now feel ready to face the world again!

More on the week that was next time...

K xx

Saturday, October 9, 2010

New low!

After a massive week of births and work, I've managed to have a fairly good week..

In my normal pattern I gained last week every 4th week I gain anything from 500g to 1kg... Its very odd and sadly falls when I am a little hormonal and even though it comes off the next week I always feel fat and horrible for a week!

So I was excited to get on the scales this morning to see a new low... yay!

The scales bought me 109.9kg, out of the teens and into the last 9kg of the 100's....

So has started mission 9kg.... 9kg for Christmas! I am devising a plan!

Have a great week xx

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Fat days and putting things in perspective

So Fat days ! hummmphhh it's been a while since I've had a true FAT day!!! I remember the fat days pre banding.. the self loathing.. the desperation to loose weight.. the "I'll do anything" vow.. the tears and the fear. The pre banded fat days were dark dark days.

Since being banded I haven't had a day like that .... but today was close ! Whats with that? I am the lowest weight since 2007, any day now I will be at my lowest since I was maybe 12 years old. So why today did I feel so horrible in my skin so sick of my body so sick of all the clothes I own.

Our minds and bodies work in the most crazy ways! I'll never understand it and I think I'll always have to tame the beast that is fat days!

I did have one thought... 6 months is the longest I've ever stuck to anything in the past... So here I am at 6 months and 4 days and no sign of giving up and couldn't self sabotage easily even if I tried! So yay for making the change I cant wait for th 1 year mile stone!!!

So in band news post my fill 2 weeks ago I've had a tight tight band. Fluids mostly since then, I had a stuck incident a week after the fill so went back to fluids. Ive just moved to mushies and they are finally going down nicely! I've noticed that I can only eat 1/2 cup of food over 30mins.

Tonight I had soup potato and leek homemade with leeks from my garden, then 1 egg scrambled with a tablespoon of organic cottage cheese. It took me an hour but i got it all down no slim to vomit no pb's !!!!!

So back to basic band rules

1. No fluids before, during or after meals
2. Eat slow
3. Chew chew chew
4. stay hydrated!!!! drink between meals!!!

K xx

Sunday, September 26, 2010

6th months banded....

So today marks 6 months since I was banded!!!!

I feel totally grateful for this amazing experience..

6 months on:

* I have lost 25kg/55lbs
* I have gone from a size 24AU to a mostly 18AU but some 16's!!!!
* My energy levels are through the roof
* I can move better, kneel squat and stand at work for hours with out hurting
* I can RUN... for short periods
* I am exciting about the future
* I have halved one of my blood pressure tablets and stopped another completely.
* My renal function has improved
* I feel alive and so excited for what the next 6 months might bring

Saturday, September 18, 2010

and the low's continue... just in time for weigh in day!

I got on 2 different scales this morning 6 times just to make sure they weren't lying!!!I cracked the 10's jumps for joy! So my 6 month goal came a week early........

That's 25.1kg (55lbs) lost in 5months 3 weeks !!!!

Hard to believe as I am bloated to the max at the moment and PMS city.... crazy!

Happy happy Sunday people!

K x

Friday, September 17, 2010

a fill and a new low!


I had a tiny tiny fill on Tuesday.. I almost didn't get a fill but I have had a little hunger the last week! .25cc went in taking me to 5.75cc... so 6cc is where i got into trouble in June with a horrible too tight episode that set me back for over a month! Since Tuesday I have been taking it very ease... soft foods and fluids! I can certainly hear fluid gurgling down there! and have had a few episodes of slim. I am also finding that I need less food to feel satisfied.

So life is crazy busy I have the weekend off which is so awesome! Next weekend marks 6 months since banding... I have often said I will post pics of myself but have often chickened out!! but I have been searching for a before pic and planning on taking a current pic so by next weekend I will be ready to post!

500grams more and I will have lost 25kg in 6 months .... can I do it!!!

Love to ya all

Mwah K xxx

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

A new low !!

This weeks weigh in was exciting!! a new low...
Totally excited!!! So I didn't smash through August as I'd planned but I am still fairly happy! I think I've finally worked out my limits and just how little food I actually need.. its only in the last 2 weeks that I've worked out I can have 4 small crackers and 2 thin slices of cheese for lunch and not need anything to dinner!

Todays the last day of winter... Bring on spring... !!!

K xx

Monday, August 23, 2010

This weeks weigh in ...

I lost 1.3kg !!! 2pounds yahhhooooo!!

So excited!!!!

In other NSV I bought some black work pants in a size 16..yes they are stretch but they fit. I then bought the size 14 as well as something to aim for!! SIZE 14!!! this is the first time size 14 has ever entered my house !!!!

I have always had the widest foot... I never fit into the pretty shoes... Well today I tried on a cheap target pair of booties with a ridiculously massive heel... my god they fit I actually squealed out loud!! I couldn't walk in them so I didn't buy them but they fit... excitement plus... I think my foot has got skinnier!!

Have a lovely week all

K xx

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

thank you fill and fluids ...

So the scale gave me a taste of what might be to come in the near future!!!

113.5kg Thank you scale! I actually high fived myself!!

Who knows if it will be there tomorrow or the next day.. but it was there ...

TTOTM is hours away... Damn you uterus.. but I always have my lightest day for the month 3days after its gone so who knows what it will bring!

I have just read Amy's goal post and I am so in awe of her and the amazing journey she has had..

Believe trust create

K xx

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Band update ...Crunching the numbers... and a fill...

So today I went to have a fill.. the last week or so I've noticed that I've had a bit of night hunger and felt a bit snacky...I had another 0.5 added bringing me to 5.5... I had a question for my doctor..

1. Why do I feel like I am not loosing weight

We talked about calories per day.. exercise.. water retention..building muscle.. low salt diets.. weighing daily..TTOTM..and lastly.. recording monthly!!!

It was like a light bulb went on all of a sudden.. I have been so addicted to weighing daily and recording weekly. I do think doing this keeps you honest to your self.. it keeps you on track. BUT I think looking at a months total is really helpful!

So I did and this is what I came up with I was quite surprised! (I have recorded form the 15th of each months to the 15th of the next)

April 10.4kg 22lbs
May 1.7kg 3lbs
June 3.2kg 7lbs
July 1.7kg 3lbs
August 1.9kg 4lbs

So Total Loss since starting the Banding journey 21kg 46lbs...

I am feeling more content about my progress and the future weight loss.. If I had not have had band surgery I would not be loosing anything I'd probably be gaining!!

On the flip side seeing I lost 3.2kg in June is proof I can do it!! I can loose bigger numbers!!

So with my 6 months band anniversary coming up in September I am really looking forward to smashing through the rest of August!!!

K xxx

Saturday, August 14, 2010

New blogger and bandster to be ...

A new Aussie blogger added me today, The Babbling Bandit she has her banding surgery in 9 sleeps! How exciting can you all remember the count down to banding... For me it got more and more exciting everyday! I am sure she would love you all to pop over to her new blog and say HI you can find it here :
http://the-babbling-bandit.blogspot.com/

I've been blogging since Christmas and only have 57 followers haha so I don't know if I'll be much help ...haha

K xx

Friday, August 13, 2010

I haven't exercised much at all this week... I did 2 weights session... no cardio though.. partly because work has been busy but in hindsight I think I have really let my weight gain last week get to me... and instead of getting on with it I without even realising it have dropped the ball so to speak....

So the scales were nice to me this morning with weigh in day on Monday I have every hope that I may have lost some weight this week... I will do measurements as well maybe that will make me feel better ...

My size 16 jeans feel loose... and my leather boots that I bought in June are feeling very loose...

I am totally holding on to the hope that I can still get to 110kg by the end of August!!!

xxxx

Monday, August 9, 2010

this weeks weigh in...

I hate you scales !!!

Seriously.. So I gained 700grams.... almost 1.5lbs...

Maybe I did too much weight training....

OK so now I've had my little rant.... I am not going to let it bother me.. My size 16 jeans fit I am feeling good.. I have to get over the fact that the scale isn't my only measure of success... sadly my doctors uses this as his only measure :(

onward and upward...

trust.. believe...

x

Saturday, August 7, 2010

NSV will have to do since the scale isnt moving...

So massive non scale victory for me this week.. I have graced my treadmill with my presence FIVE times this week!!! I have been doing the c25k program still but mixing it up in terms of weeks.. So five 30 min interval training sessions on the treadmill followed but circuits... alternating strength and free weights exercises everyday after my interval training... FIVE times that has be be a record!!!!

So this ponderings are ...

Can a polar heart rate monitor lie...?????

Mines set up correctly.. weight height ect... for example last night I did interval training for 30 mins and 20 mins of standing and floor strengthening exercises.. lots and lots of squats arhhh!!! So at the end my Polar HR monitor tells me I burnt 770cals... REALLY!!!!! I sweated a whole lot... huffed and puffed a heap.. but 770cals!! All week I've burnt similar between 500-800cals per session....

Can salt and protein drink make you gain over night ???
This week I've been quite busy so have resorted to protein drinks for lunch .. they have abour 14grams of protein in them.... So with all of the above exercise my weight has been up and down all week! and today is 2 pounds above my official weight on last week what the!!!! with weigh in tomorrow I am terrified that I will gain !

In another non scales victory.. My size 18AU jeans were in the wash yesterday so I put on my same style size 16AU and THEY FIT ... hahaha .. I feel fabulous wearing them!!!

I am still on the trail of 5kg ( 9lbs) for August.... Ill just keep on believing!!!

Trust ... Believe.... Create .... Succeed

Thursday, August 5, 2010

a birth to bring me back ..

Just had to share what a massive high I am on today.. I attended the most gorgeous homebirth today... I've worked with the woman for the last 6 months planning her birth..

This morning I arrived at her house at 1115 after she phoned saying things were on... She graceful with such amazing strength and power pushed her baby into my hands at 1153 .. wow it was quick ... the second midwife didn't arrive till the baby was 7 mins old.. I've never been alone at a homebirth before.. slightly scary but totally exhilarating ....

I felt Strong ... going back and forth from kneeling on the floor to standing... I squatted to catch the baby.. something I haven't been able to do for long periods of time ever before! I didn't sweat one drop ... I used to sweat a lot at births it would run off me.. not today.. I was calm .. cool and collected..

It was a gorgeous gorgeous birth.. I feel so alive,awake to the power of women, the power of birth .. and so very blessed to be able to share in someone elses birth.. arhh tears!

ok that's all from me today K xxx

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

moving forward...

So for the last week I've been sporting what I will call baggy bum syndrome... my work pants are the issue.. I don't wear a uniform so have to keep a working wardrobe happening all year round... So I am down to 3 pairs of work pant.. all of which are baggy particularly in the bum... its starting to look a little ridiculous!

So today I went to find some in a smaller size! All the current ones are a size 18! So I got some size 16's black pants.. and they are fairly tight... hmm but the 18's same brand same style are way too big..

What is the deal.. going from a 18-16 AU is proving to be difficult! There really needs to be a in between size !! Does anyone have this issue???

Well I am hoping I move down quickly to 14-16's so this wont be a issue for much longer!!

I did purchase a gorgeous skirt on clearance in a 16 that's not going to fit for a while but it gives me something to aspire too..

Last night I was doing some day dreaming... imagining what it would be like to be close to goal.. Its 9months till our America trip .. I have my sights set on being very close to goal by then..

I've been crunching numbers trying to set a realistic goal .. in doing so I worked out I've already lost 1/3 of the weight I need to loose..

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Scales on the move ....

Is my plateau over... maybe.. maybe not.... I have 4 more days left till official weigh in to really get them going !!!

SO the scales this morning are back down lowest that I've seen since being banded, I saw this weight on July 4th... and haven't seen it since.. I've bounced around like a ping pong all since this date!

Come on scales please be my friend... Ive done 2 intensive workouts Monday/Tuesday .. I had tonight off but will workout Thursday and Friday.. Ive been tracking calories on calorieking.com.au.. averaging about 1100cals at the moment.

I am so ready for movement on scales and new clothes!!

In annoying news.. my skin and hair are crappo at the moment, Skin is oily and I have acne !! what the!! my hair is freaking out.. loosing more then I think is normal and its super oily between washes... Will change shampoo this week thinking of moving to nioxin. Taking zinc and multi vit.. hmmm

ok so no photos totally chickened out... Sooon when I have a good one to compare it with

x

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Had a great weekend.. spent Friday night cooking a cupcake tower for a friends birthday party on Saturday. I didn't even eat one!! had to rely on the boy to taste test for me!! here's some pics!!





Sorry for the food porn.. this was the first time I'd done a cupcake tower even though I've made a million cupcakes before! and the first time I hadn't sampled any!!!

At the party it was mostly nibbles.. I got stuck twice and had to excuse my self to bring up some slime!!!! what the! my restriction just suddenly kicked in! So after not being able to get anything down all day we went out for a latish dinner at the pub were the party moved on to.. I ordered some fish grill with veggies... 1st mouthful chew chew chew... stuck.... excuse my self vomit.... back for more... thought I was managing had 4 mouthfuls slowly.... 15 Min's later slime stuck so stuck excuse my self vomit!!!

I was with the same group of people most of the day then night so I had to think what they thought so embarrassing! vomit vomit vomit!!!

So today has been easier... I always do better at home.. no damage done with the vomiting just a lesson or two in ordering and food choices !!!

So the hot summer meltdown challenge is almost done.. feeling a little flat that I've done so badly. I cant believe how far behind the unfill has put me! I am really looking forward to welcoming August! And we need a new challenge!!!

I found some pictures I am going to share next post... some scary scary pictures!!!

K xx

Friday, July 23, 2010

Band wisdom...

Just a quick update from me!

I had a fill last Tuesday.. My doctor confessed to me that he had actually taken 3cc/3mls at my unfill 2 weeks prior! Thank goodness I didn't know that! So The damage over the 2 weeks of basically no fill... 900grams (2lbs).. not a disaster but not fabulous either!

In hind sight going too fast with my fills has caused me to be behind in my weight loss by almost a whole month! So the moral of this is to not rush fills.. if you have a bad stuck episode get an unfill.. even though it feels like you are going backwards by having an unfill you are actually preventing yourself from stalling for a month or more!!! it took me 2 weeks to recover from being too tight for 2 weeks.. So that's my band wisdom for today!

Restriction is back.. the hunger has hung around a bit.. but I am coping...

K x

Saturday, July 17, 2010

cranky pants ..




So my band is still missing in action.. I really hope she is still in there...

I have been so bloated  this week... retaining fluids at any opportunity and feeling very cranky!!

I've never really suffered mood changes with PMT but the last 2 cycles Ive been so cranky and irritable ! I think my hormones are all over the place ! Is it possible to gain 2kg (4lbs) in the lead up to TTOTM. The thing is its starting 10days or so before TTOTM is even due.... 10 days of it... the scales are settling a little as its getting closer but still showing as a gain!!!

So thats my vent ..

On the upside I bought a new skirt from the "normal" section in target in a 18 and it fits perfectly ... this is the only thing I am hanging on to at the moment!

I am booked for a fill Tuesday and it cant come quick enough.. I am away at a professional development course Wednesday and will be on fluids so that will be interesting... and I am sure the wine will be flowing in the evening.. must stay away from the wine!!

Have had a very interesting week this week returning to work after almost 5 weeks off.. but I think thats another post !

K xx

Monday, July 12, 2010

Band Where are you ????

So since the unfill a week ago I have GAINED.....1kg (2lbish)...

What to do...

I can get anything down... sadly I know this as I've tried most things.. I am tracking calories and am having 1500cals a day, I signed up to calorieking.com.au and that has been helpful..I am hungry a lot...

I've had a really emotional few days.. I feel fat and bloated... I don't even feel like I have a band anymore.. Band WHERE are you!! I miss you a lot!

Did anyone else have a bump in the road, that they thought they would never get past ?

I am having a fill Next Tuesday so a whole week away.. I feel healed maybe I should ring and see if I could get in on Thursday...

Back to work tomorrow after almost 5 weeks off...Have spent the day getting ready, most importantly I had a eyebrow wax! Now I need to refocus and get on with the next 6 months of work and life!

Love ya all K xxxx

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Spanx

Do you ever look at your SPANX and think " that looks like far to much work today"... is it just me or is Spanx hard work.... arhh well that was my day... Fought with my spanx suit for an hour then realised it was on back to front bahahahahah heres a hint its not the same back to front *cringes* heheheh

OK bed now

K xxxx

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

back from the doc ...

So I've just gotten back from the Doc... It was a different doctor to who I normally see I explained my symptoms and he was a little surprised I'd lasted so long at home and hadn't come into hospital over the weekend.. I was in a bit of a state today.. I am just so sick of worrying about it and feeling so flat!

He said based on my symptoms he thinks my stomach lining is very puff and swallow..the raw sore throat he said indicated referred pain from swelling and the pain in my back is also referred pain. He said his guessing even though I only have 6cc/mls in there its more like having 8mls in there!!!

So he took out 2cc/2mls !!!!!!!! A whole 2!! I almost went into a defensive karate pose like a ninja when he came at me with the needle saying he was going to take 2cc's!!!!!!!!!!!!

I totally understand his reasoning and he also talked about there being more risk of the band slipping if it remains too tight and all the other risks increase also...

He wants me on soft foods for another day. Ive got another appt in 2 weeks to see if I need a small fill but he said we would so very slowly...

So I now have 4cc/mls in my band..

Tonight for dinner, I had 1tsp of couscous, 2tsp of mushed veggies and 3tsp of mince... it went down perfectly.. no vomiting or slime for the first time in 2 weeks praise the universe!

Holding on to the good news that on his scales I have lost 2kg/4lbs in 2 weeks!

xxx

Monday, July 5, 2010

the unfill :(

So things really aren't any better on the band front ...

Not getting any solids down at all, had another stuck episode trying on Saturday after 4 full days of fluids...

Every night I have a odd cough, a raw sore throat and a stabbing pain between my should blades but slightly to the left/like a twinge..

water, Milo and protein shakes are all going down slowly and super thin soup..

It will be 2 weeks tomorrow of basically no solids, I am booked in at 2pm tomorrow to get an adjustment.

It's kinda silly, I've had to talk myself into going to get an unfill, I have this fear that by getting a unfill I will gain all the weight back.. I feel like its taking a step back. I don't think it is stepping back is it? The scales are sadly stuck which doesn't make sense with hardly any calories going in..

I bombed out in the Challenge this week lost only 500gram .. just on a pound! grr

Will let you know what the Doc has to say tomorrow xxx

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Tears Tears Tears .... I so emotional.. I dont want anything to change

Now I have stabbing pain between my shoulder blades it's so sore...

Full of what if's ....

Hoping I am only too tight and nothing else...

Cant sleep hmmphhh !

Needing band advice....

I think something is up with my band!

I had a fill on the 22nd of June which bought me to a total of 6cc in my band, my Doctor said that 6cc is "average" for most people to have in their bands.

I did 24hours of fluids shakes and soups no problem.. I had in the mean time been fighting a cold/flu with sore throat and mucous cough which peaked over Thursday/Friday/Saturday lots of snot (gross sorry).

Thursday tried some veggie soup, small bit of diced chicken and 1tsp of mash potato, did not go down at all stuck on the first mouthful, vomited slime and then chicken.

Friday night we went and caught up with some friends I managed to get down 2 pieces of crispy base margarita pizza down very slowly no problems!

Sunday fluids for brekkie all ok... brunch scrambled eggs one small mouthful stuck.. another hours of vomiting slime and then finally unstuck the egg grrrrrr..

So since Sundays effort I have been having soup for dinner no probs..

but on Monday night I had chest pain intermittent worse when I was sitting up better when I was laying flat, then some reflux..shoulder tip pain lots of coughing with this stupid cold hanging on!

Last night Tuesday Made Thai stir fry chicken and veggies and rice.. Attempted just some chicken and veggies.... The worse Slime vomit ever so bad in was involuntary ... felt terrible..

Over night had some shoulder tip pain and tight chest... its better with a change of position.

I guess I am just terrified that something more serious is going on ...

Has anyone had the same?

Does cold and flu make a difference?

How long would it take after a stuck incident for any swelling to go down?

Help anyone what should I do? I am so greatful in advance xx

K xx

Monday, June 28, 2010

3 months banded .....with some pictures...

So 3 months have past since I was banded... I cant believe it's gone so quickly !!

Starting weight 136kg (299lbs)

I weighed in on my 3 month anniversary at 115.7kg (254lbs) I almost fell off the scale!

Total loss 20.3kg (44lbs)

Ive got 6cc in my band, had my most recent fill last Tuesday.

The NSV List

* I can run.. I do interval running 4 times a week.. sure I can only run for 3 mins at a time but I CAN run.. in the last 6 weeks of running I've felt my fitness improve my shape is changing quickly. I can go faster and last longer I love running!

* I have gone from a size 24 to a size 18

* I can buy some clothing from normal clothing lines!!!

* I own knee high boots!

* I bought my 1st ever pair of leggings and a knit dress

* My energy levels are double

* one of my blood pressure tablets has been halved

There are so many positives that have come from the last 3 months I feel so blessed!

So over the weekend I flicked through some pictures... what I found was quite shocking! I thought I'd post a few on here.. I am terrified about being found by someone I know hmmm what are the odds!

I am off to see Eclipse on Thursday in Gold class I am so excited, I have a new outfit I promise to take a photo!

Lastly I just wanted you all to know how blessed I feel to have found you all in blog land, thank you all for your supportive comments xxx

Hard to tell any difference but I feel different that's for sure!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I chickened out!!!

I couldn't go through with wearing my boot!!

I put my outfit on leggings, knit dress, scarf and boots walked around the house for 20 mins... felt OK.. then caught my reflection in the mirror as I entered my bedroom to put some perfume on... cringe...

It wasn't that I didn't like what I saw .... It was more that it was so new.. like nothing Ive worn before.. I looked totally different... not frumpy not boring but stylish... well dressed... my age.. I felt very emotional about it all...

So I did leave my boots on but pulled on some boot leg jeans and changed my top to a knit jumper.... yep back to the old me...

Self sabotage.... total lack of confidence... or should I have not been wearing it anyway ! arhhhhhh

In great news a new low on the scale today... totally surprised by how low.. slightly overwhelmed by how low... deep breath...

I also wanted to share this with you a song that's on my work out play list it really talks to me at the moment. By an Australian artist Missy Higgins an amazing talented woman! Enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNo7aJODq-w&feature=related


K xxxx

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The heat is on.....3 months banded....





So Saturday will be 3 months since I was banded! woot woot...


will keep you posted....

Tomorrow I am off to Disney on ice with my adorable 2yo nephew.. it will be my boots first outing I have a whole new outfit.... I am totally nervous about wearing the outfit and the boots.. I hope I can go through with it!

K xx

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Boots .....





After longing for boots for years and years..... I finally am the owner of some knee high boots!!! Ive lost over 2 inches on each calf and can finally fit them!

It's a massive mile stone for me.. happy dance!!!

Got a fill today as well, I lost 1.5kg (3lbs)in 2 weeks since seeing him on his scales yay!!! I now have 6cc in a 10cc band...

Back in the groove with my treadmill.... last nights session burnt 670cals according to my Polar HR monitor! I love my treadmill!!

Still 2.5weeks of annual leave left.. loving the slow mornings.. sleep in's... late brekkies...

K xxx

Friday, June 18, 2010



Home sweet home....

I arrived home yesterday from New Zealand.. I had a good time but I sadly missed my treadmill so much.. my scales and my magic bullet blender!!! I tried to use the gym at the resort but it wasn't the same. I think I've been so focused and in a routine with food and exercise since banding that I really struggled whilst we were away. I guess it didn't help that I was  visiting family so I had to try to cover up my eating or lack of it.

I had 3 stuck episodes... One at a Thai restaurant ... one on some chicken take away and one at the airport just before boarding our flight back to OZ... So much slimming!! ewww I have put them all down to trying to keep up with the people I was eating with.. Its odd how without knowing it you mimic the speed they are eating. On a few occasions I'd say I wasn't hungry then when our visitors left I'd heat it up and eat it no problems..

The scale was rather nice to me when I got up this morning...I was down 800grams or 1lb 7oz... I was fairly happy with that as I may have had more chocolate and ice cream then I should have!!

Looking forward to getting into the Hot summer Meltdown Challenge..

Missed all of your blogs and I promise to catch up over the weekend!

K xxx

Friday, June 4, 2010

Run run run.... NSV.. and a new low on the scale..

I love Couch to 5k running program !!!

For anyone whos thinking of starting to exercise I cant recommend this program enough! Some times I have to power walk through the running stage but I can still keep my heart rate in the zone! I am also loving my tredmill in our sunroom and I am loving my polar heart rate monitor as it tells me exsactly when I am in the zone for fat burning and how many calories Ive burnt at the end of the session!!! Id be lost with out my tredmill and my polar HRM !!!

So today the scale was nice to me ...  yahooo a new low ! Ive now lost 17kg or 37lbs.... yahooo so excited. It so nice when people start to notice that has been happening a lot latly...its kinda embarassing but also makes me feel proud!

Ive had a few NSV this week..

My scrubs at work are super baggy heheh... I am ready to move down a size yay

I ran for 3 mins on the tredmill

My "dream jeans" fit like a glove  dickies girl jeans from torrid !!! I wore them today to see SATC 2 with my sister

I was in a department store Myer on Wednesday and they had Pj's discounted to $10 down from $30... They were "normal sizes"... Ive always had to shop in the plus size department! So I bought a XL thinking maybe it will be a few months before I can get into them... well well well... they fit perfect... infact a tad baggy ... Such a massive NSV...

So now that my dream jeans fit .... what will be my next dream out fit! Need to go through my closet this weekend ...

K xxx

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

vacations, fad diets and what to eat!

So the count down is on 7 days till I am off call for 4 whole weeks!!!  really looking forward to the break! The last few days have been busy at work, I worked all weekend had lots of births.... really hoping tonight is quite I am rather tired...

So the whole what to eat thing is my major issue at the moment...

4 years ago I did a meal replacement diet and lost a lot of weight over 6 months... about 26kg/56lbs I was starving 90% of the time but I was loosing weight.. So my weight loss has slowed slightly and its proberly not as fast as it was when I was doing meal replacement.. I just feel like thats not why I got the band! I dont want to be on these quick loss diets...hmmmmmmm I tried to explain that the band is design so I can eat a normal diet just less and make better choices....

but back to what to eat....Ive spent quite a lot of time PBing and feeling stuck or like things wont go down... tonight I tried scrambled eggs which normally go down fine but no go... last night I had one mouthful of potato and really pissed off my band.. I was retching for 30mins and feeling raw...

today ive had

0500 upandgo milk

0900 super nutrients smoothie with yogurt

1230 musle bar

1530small light chocolate milk

(1900 attempted eggs no go at all)

2000 100cal mousse

2100 milo

so looking back ive had lots of liquid calories.. all low cal low fat... but I wonder if I am too tight or have I just annoyed my band and she is angry with me! Works been so busy and I really cant eat solid food when I am rushing between clients I just get stuck.

I might ring the doctors office tomorrow and see where I can get some advice ...

Looking forward to the Challenge starting sunday!

K xx

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Teen's.... teeny tiny teens yippeee

The new low on the scales this morning.... yippeee

Yesterday was 2 months since banding!!!

Some very interesting conversations have been had latly ... I will post more later!

K xx

Sunday, May 23, 2010

the scale this morning... yay
come on 100grams more and I'd be in the teens ....

at the moment I am loosing about 400grams a day.. I see my doc in 2 weeks so I guess we will see what he has to say!

Happy Monday xx
I miss eating today... Ill be honest about that...

Today charged with hormones and PMT grumpy at the world.. tired.. I just wanted to sit down with some left over potato bake and sulk... first mouthfuls of potato bake.. Pb.. second.. small burp and then Pb... third spoonful yep no way is this going to happen... off I went to cough up the rest and sulked some more.... hahaha ohh the irony...

today Ive had..

Banana Up & Go 175cals

2 penne pasta noddles with pesto, 1 bite of BBQ chicken breast ( at the BBQ)

2 mouthfuls of lemon cake (mums bday cake)

banana yogurt smoothie

and thats me done hmmm

I normally gain at least a kilo at (.) time so will be interested to see what the scale does tomorrow!

This week I lost 900g (1Lb9oz) since tuesday weighed in Friday


xxxx

Saturday, May 22, 2010

So had the fill 4 days ago and have dropped 1kg since.. which is fabulous...

I have moments when I think I am too tight and then moments when I think its not so bad... Only fluids go down before midday Ive been having brekkie smoothies.. then with work and rushing around Ive been having up and gos if I need something and sometimes oatmeal... The smoothies take anywhere from 1hour to 90mins to get down and everything else about an hour....

I guess Ive just never had this type of restriction before... Hoping that I am not to tight Each day I am working hard to get 1L of water down which I am struggling a little bit with.

Tomorrow I am having a BBQ lunch here for my mums birthday.. Ive been making Lemon cake for her with lemon curd filling arhh it is devine.... lemon curd oh my oh my!

Hope your all having a lovely weekend xxx

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

oh thats what restriction is ...

or is it... I managed 3 spoonfulls of vegtable soup, about 20mls of apple juice and 4sips of hot tea over 2 hours.... hmmm everything went down so slowly with some pbing... is that right?? will it get any better?

Maybe this is what its ment to be like bing banded and what ive had before was not restriction! which leads me to my doctors visit today....

Well I knew I hadnt lost a lot this month but to be exsactly the same on the doctors scales today as I was 4 weeks ago.. was totally disheartening and a little core shaking ... what the hell!!!!

I have started the interval running 4 times a week I am way more active... I dont understand it! Did anyone else gain weight when they commenced exercising??? My doctor said its common for someone my size to gain 2kg in the first month of starting exercise as you have incresed blood volume to fule your muscels and also a little fluid and eventually muscel mass.. he said if I stopped I'd loose 2 kgs within a week! but not to do that!!!!! arhhhh is this true!

He also told me someone my size shouldnt be running as its too heavy a movement on the joints and knees.. hmmm I told him it was interval and he was then slightly convinced that it was ok !!!

It amazing how much all of this affected me tonight when I did my 30 min interval training... I wanted to give up half way... I struggled with the running counted down every second... talked myself into believing what he said I shouldnt be running.. hell I am not loosing weight why bother... wow I got myself in a state... then I got it together and went 5 mins longer then normal! arhhh

so what to make of it all ..... ummm I still have no idea... what to put in my mouth hmm I still have no idea! and on that note I think I'll go to bed !

K x

Monday, May 17, 2010

Fill me up please....

I need a fill... now now now now....
starving in the mornings and PBing lots as Ive forgotten how to eat and chew slowly grrrrr!!!!!!

So I am booked in tomorrow for another fill praise the fill!

In hindsight it all kind of makes sense as the numbers on the scale have been bouncing up and down then down a little bit ....then up this morning grrrrrr.. Ive started the couch 2 5k program so that's been great but I am eating more and wanting more! I am terrified of getting on the scales tomorrow at the doctors office!

In other news.. 3 weeks and 2 days until I am on annual leave!!! For 4 whole weeks yippee... . The count down is on! Can I drop some more kilos before I go! The heat is on! The resort I am staying at has a full gym with treadmills so I can keep up the running and a heated pool yahooo!

Just trying to organise travel insurance which has been a little harder then I thought! but should be sorted but the end of the week!

See you soon xxx

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

running, stat update and the glucose revolution!

I just logged on to catch up on the blogs and was very sad to read the sadness that one of the women in our band community is going through... I am so sad for her ..

Thing are going well here.. I think I need another fill I am getting a little too much food down and having hunger pains often! I have been reading the glucose revolution and have been following that style of eating the last week. I bought some up and go Vivie and they have been very helpful. This morning I had oats for brekkie and yesterday I had a slice of soy Lin toast with Vegemite yummm...

I have almost completed week one of the couch to 5k running plan! Thanks to Jacquie for sharing it with me! Its totally amazing! I think I will actually be able to do it ! You can find the plan at www.coolrunnings.com. I never thought I'd be a runner but I am starting to believe that maybe I could be ! I am at 268lbs/122kg at the moment and I can run! If I can anyone can! yesterday I shouted my self to some fancy running shoes! They made running so much easier last night! Love them!

So here's a stat update
Halved one of my Blood pressure tablets and exercising 4 times a week!

7 weeks post band placement....

I am fairly happy with that.. but I will be jumping for joy if I can do that again in the next 7 weeks!!!

K xxx

Saturday, May 8, 2010

I can run...

So all week I've been trying to increase my exercise.. Ive walked on the treadmill,done some low impact aerobics and weights and toning exercises as well. Today I worked in the morning then came home and did 2 hours in the garden weeding and planting some veggies...

Even after all of that I still had energy so I thought I'd get on the treadmill. I actually did intervals of running and walking for 10 mins... I know doesn't sound like much but for me this is amazing!! Running makes me feel so powerful .. I love it ! I want to be able to run non stop .. I am guessing the way to do this is increase the time each week???

We have a massive fun run here at the end of the year.. I wonder could I ?

Feeling like I am back in the game

K xx

Thursday, May 6, 2010

might seem small but so over the moon !!

So I saw my renal doctor yesterday.. He was very impressed with my weight loss! My kidney function has improved slightly and I now have a sitting bp of 120/70! This is a huge thing for me I am normally 150/95 and on 2 different tablets! He also did the blood pressure standing and laying down! He thinks I have postural hypotension meaning my BP drops when I stand! YAHOOOOOOO this is exciting as its a clear sign that I need to reduce the meds!!! so he has halved one tablet but believes that I will be off it in 3 months if I keep loosing! Then the other tablet can start to be reduced! I walked out of there feeling like I'd won the lottery!


Happy Friday all xxx

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The week that was ...

Another week has almost come to an end wow this time of the year goes so quickly!

A quick recap on my week...

My Grandma has been really sick this past week.. not really looking like she is on the improve anytime soon. She is 79 and in a nursing home.. she has been moved to the hospital because of an infection. Ive been so sad and teary about it all week. hmmm that's all I can manage to say about that at the moment but its been on my mind!

Since last Friday I have delivered 8 babies! Its been so busy... the full moon didn't help! Yesterday I was at the birth center for 14 hours straight and caught 4 babies alone!! Sometimes birth warms my heart and soothes my soul... it brings me back to whats important.. The last birth yesterday was a women I've looked after for the last 6 months she was very special to me her last experience so traumatic... but this birth was so lovely ohhh it was perfect ... and they were so thrilled.. its so lovely to be a part of such a special time in someones life !

Ive had a really nasty (.) this week, the first since being banded.. Does anyone else find their band is tighter when they get their (.) it was so odd, got stuck on 1 bit of a sandwich! Because of this I have no idea what my weight is doing. I think my weight loss has stalled. In all honesty I feel a bit confused about what to eat. hmmm I need to come up with a plan I think. Any ideas of suggests? I read a lot about protein on here.. how much should I be having!

So 10 hours left on call, I am off call at 8am! Then I am off for the weekend!! I am so excited! 
I hope you all have a great weekend xxxx

Friday, April 23, 2010

Ms skinny pants...

So I have secretly been referring to myself today as Ms skinny pants! Well skinny for me anyway!!!

I got on the scales this morning and lost 1.4kg (3lbs) woot woot woot... I was starting to get worried! So I thought maybe Ill go try on what I call my skinny pants! well they fit... no sucking in no laying flat on the bed just did them up yahoo! Then I thought maybe just maybe I will try on a shirt I haven't worn in years!! and mmm it did up! punches the air in excitement...

My excitement didn't last very long because I was called to a birth at 0830 and had to put scrubs on.... So another challenge.. I haven't put scrubs on since the middle of March...So what size to choose... I went with my regular XXL and they were baggy.. but I didn't have time to mess around so I wore baggy scrubs all day ahah.. Today was the first day I have done a 12hours shift since my surgery. Labour care, squatting, bending, leaning, lifting. I also managed to maintain squatting on the floor for a full 45mins as this is where the woman birthed her baby.so on my feet all day... in fact today was so busy that I didn't get a break.. which after 12hours on your feet is a lot! Even managed to do the 12 hours which saw the birth of a sweet little baby boy.. then still see all my inpatients...

I had a lot of energy today.. which surprises me.. I had a fill yesterday had 1cc put in, so have been on fluids the last 24 hours.. I had a meal replacement shake for brekkie.. a small yogurt at 10ish then another shake at 1600..

So much has been going on this week... its been a rather sad week... will post later about that all when I get a chance ...

Catching up on all your blogs now

K xxx

Sunday, April 18, 2010

B.O.O.B .....could I.. and the wkend

I have been MIA in blog land for about 4 days... So much catching up to do! So I have just got a whiff of Chicago mania that is sweeping across the blogs... I Love America its my number 1 Holiday destination... so the thought of having something to attend in the states and meeting all of you is very tempting....
So the wedding Ive been stressing about was this weekend... Things went really well it was very hectic but we got there!No rain! although we did have an earth quake 3.8 the night before as we were having the important all girl sleepover...We stayed at a little B&B in the middle of a vineyard...Frightening!!!

I felt good having lost some weight my dress certainly needed some fashion tape on the cleavage as I've lost 10cm off my bust!

It was a gorgeous wedding, held at a boutique winery called the Lazy Ballerina its in the country and so lovely! I of course could not sample any of the gorgeous wines! I did manage a few small nibbles and some (1 slice) yummy wood oven pizza that was coming fresh out of the oven right in front of us (back to that later).

No movement on the scales on Friday... I was exactly the same as last Friday! humph
I haven't gone near the scales since Friday only because I haven't been home! It will be very interesting to see what happens tomorrow! I have a fill booked in for Thursday!

So back to the Pizza... so there was so much Pizza already paid for coming out of this amazing wood oven that they decided once everyone appeared full that they would start boxing it up for people to take home! over 40 pizzas were boxed up! So I figured it went down so easily why not take one home and heat up a slice for dinner! The other bridesmaid and I worked so hard all day then spent 3 hours cleaning up.. stacking chair.. taking down lantern arhhh all in heels.. I got home late... heated up some pizza.. one bite mmm snug fit.. second bite so stuck that I jumped out of the chair and started pacing... and panicking ohh the pain it awful.. I then PB'ed a bit ... then a bit more... sliming ohhh I was freaking out.. coughed..gaged...cried.. then vomited... arhhh relief......but raw and so sore I hope that never ever happens again it was awful!

Back to work this week... full steam ahead looking forward to getting back into the swing I have a feeling I am going to hit the ground running!

Sorry for the epic post .. well done if you have read to here

K xxx

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Weigh in day ...

Friday is my weigh in day as I had my band placed on a Friday!

Today the scales down 1kg or 2.2lbs

Current weight 123.4kg 271.4lbs

I also did my body measurements

Fairly happy with the CM loss!

I have my friends wedding next weekend so the loss couldn't have come at a better time! I still feeling really nervous about being the biggest bridesmaid.. Also had a last minute dress change as the 1st one is now hanging off me!

One of my jobs for the wedding since I am the "cook" amongst my friends is to make 100 Turkish delight truffles..... hmmm so I will be doing that over the weekend !

Back from the doctor ...

So the good news is that the band has not slipped! YAY! phewww..

The doctor thinks that the pain is caused by where the tubing from the port to the band enters the abdo wall, apparently this little hole can get inflamed and aggravated as everything is settling down. So good news I hope thats all it is !

So we went ahead with the fill... He had some difficultly finding it but he did.. He put 3.5cc/ml in.. It was a very odd feeling but not really painful at all. He asked me to go to the waiting room and drink half a cup of water slowly to see how I go... Well first sip.. funny feeling in my throat... second sip tightness in my chest.. tried to burp no go... hmm third sip as I thought I making it up.. Stuck!!!!
So back in I went to have 1cc/ml taken out! So glad he only took out a 1 ....

Wow restriction feels so different to what I have felt the last 2 weeks! I thought I had some restriction but clearly I had none!!!

For dinner I had 4 spoonfuls of sweet potato and Leek soup with some ricotta blended through it... is that right? wow doesn't feel like much!

Thanks for the replies on my previous post I feel so lucky to have this community

K xxx

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

How do you know if the bands slipped?

I thought it was just healing pain.... but now I am not so sure...

Could it have slipped...

The pain is all left sided, its there most of the time. Its worse when I lay down and really bad when I try to lie of my left side in bed. Today I was holding my 10wk old nephew and as I repositioned him in my arms I got a crippling pulling feeling on the left side. The shoulder tip pain has stayed away today but Ive mainly stayed on fluids. hmmmmmm

Should I be able to feel the band? I can feel the port but I think I can actually feel the band to the left... Anyone else feel the same?

I am seeing the Doctors tomorrow its ment to be a fill... I just hope the band hasnt moved ohhh!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Shoulder tip pain!!!!

The last 3 nights between 9-11pm comes and goes but when it comes its really crippling arhhhhh.. tried heat pack and panadol hmmmphhh

On to more exciting new my magic bullet blender arrived today and I LOVE it! Its so amazing ! For dinner tonight I blended 1 egg,a dash of milk 5 slices of veggies, 1 small chuck of ricotta and 1 slice of ham. It blended completely smooth!!! I then made it into an omelet and it was fab!!!!! I high recommend it to new bandster love love love it !!!

The scale is bouncing and I am really not liking it at all! Friday is my record day so here's hoping its down down down!!!!!

So inspired by all the blogs this week some many of you reaching goal!!! and so many losing huge amounts! thank you all for sharing xxx

K xxx

Monday, April 5, 2010

NSV....and My Monster closet....

Just a bit of background my wardrobe 6 months ago was over flowing and had been for at least 4 years. It was full of clothing in all different sizes from 16's right through to 26's. It would be true to say that I have been all of these sizes in the last 4years. Sadly the 16's were a very fleeting moment but hey I got there !

So to paint a picture in November when I started this band journey this is what my closet consisted of. 6 drawer tallboy stack full of clothing, 1 side of a built in robe hang space busting in fact buckling under the weight of all the hanging clothing 2 rows! and 6 yes 6 extra large size space saver bags full of clothing under the bed. My poor husband has put up with this for so long. It was so bad that I could only have the current seasons clothing in the actual wardrobe.

So I am pleased to say that on Saturday we went through everything yet again... I am left with half of the hanging space, half of the tallboy and no space saver bags!!! wooohooo..

Now how we got to this point.. My current jeans started to fall down on Thursday and I was terrified that the next size down would not fit me just yet... but they did!

I am down a size ! Now in a size 20 jeans! I fit into my size 20 old navy sweetheart jeans that I bought in LA last year! I also fit into the old navy diva cut that I have never been able to get into (tags still on)... My favorite Dickies girl jeans size 20 are slightly too tight but I can get them done up! Its a NSV thats for sure.... I have my dream outfit waiting which is size 18 Dickies girl jeans and a Las vegas hard rock cafe tshirt the small skinny gal type in a XXL... Now I know this isnt a very glamorous dream outfit but its something I havnt been able to wear just jeans and a tshirt... basic... but a dream !

The thought that keep entering my head... so my dream outfit is now the next size down in jeans.. I am in a 20 they are an 18..... oh my goodness 16 comes next could I actually wear a 16... and does it stop there is a 14 even on the table arhhhhh....

ok bed time here night night K xx

Saturday, April 3, 2010

so whats the plan....

Today's a funny day I am thinking long and hard how I am going to manage my eating over the next week.. I gained 300grams this morning.. It was bound to happen at some stage.. Yesterday was the first time I had attempted mushies.. I had 2 tablespoons of mince and veg put in the blender then into some smooth sweet potato and leek soup... then I gained pfffftttt!!!

Meal replacement shakes have been a way of life for me over the last 3 years.. Ive had them for breakfast most of the time in that 3 years... So I don't mind having a shake for breakfast and even lunch...but part of me thinks that's not why I got the band.. I just don't know what to eat... I am feeling desperate to get this weight moving ...

Interesting that for the first time since the day of my surgery I am getting shoulder tip pain when I eat... hmmm I am guessing that's my full feeling..

K xxx

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Advice needed....

So it seems I have a lot to say at the moment, Sorry if you are sick of my posts...

Today I saw one of the doctors at the clinic I attend,a few things came up

1. Staples removed no problems little pain all great

2. I have had this odd rash since the surgery it comes and goes. It only appears on skin that has had pressure on it. for example after my shower in the morning it is all over me but fades within an hour. When the doctor took the hyper fix off my scars it instantly came out then faded within an hour. At times it looks like a tiger has scratched me. (Ill try get a photo) its odd. The doctor has no idea what it is.. and joked that I am allergic to the lap band!!!!!!!!!!! NOT FUNNY! Has anyone else Had this rash post op???

3. My left thigh on the outer edge has been getting progressively more numb since the surgery... today it has extended down to under the knee.. I thought maybe my hips were out or maybe a pinched nerve... I mentioned this to the doctor and he seems to think its from the injection they gave me in my leg to stop vomiting. Sometimes it can damage a nerve.. it will either get better over the next few months or its permanent..... arhhhhhhh

4. We discussed my hunger levels and how since Tuesday I am having some hunger... His suggestion to slowly move on to mushie foods over the weekend.. and wait for it..... he will do a fill next Thursday 13 days post op.... Ekkkkk I asked him about common practice and research benefit/disadvantages of having an early fill.. He said some practices believe in fills at 1 wk post op and others will do them routinely at 2 weeks....... his most common practice was 3weeks but his seen a lot of benefit in doing them early.... What do you all think???

I feel so lucky that I am able to ask you all these questions... Any advice, experience or suggestions would be greatly appreciated

K xx

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Another Kilo or 2.2lbs !!!

I cant believe it .... 1.1kg down since yesterday holy moly !!!!

So now 5.5kg or 12lbs since my op! Yahoooo......

I have never ever lost that amount of weight in 7days ever!!!!

I keep having nagging thoughts is it too good to be true arhhhhh

So I am a bridesmaid in a wedding on the 17th of April, I tried the dress on this morning hmmm roomy... So what to do... thinking of booking a last min alteration so its fitting well...Since I am the biggest bridesmaid I am so thankful for the timing of getting the band...Thank you universe!

off to get these staples out ... and weigh in ..

K xxxx

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

is the inferno coming....

Day 6 today...

So yesterday I felt hunger for the first time since the surgery.. I was a little upset about it. This is what I had yesterday

Brekkie 375ml meal replacement shake
Lunch 375ml Meal replacement shake
mid arvo 150mls, banana, blueberry and yogurt smoothie
Dinner 2/3 cup of cream of cauili soup
2 hours later 375ml meal replacement shake

so I am a little sad and annoyed about it.. I am feeling hunger now and also the scales were only down 100grams this morning doh doh doh!!!

I am trying to not get obsessed about it... Clearly the first few days after surgery when you aren't eating much of course you are going to loose big amounts hmmphhh

Ive read back on a few peoples blogs to see what was happening at this stage and it seems to be the way it plays out! and it also seem this is all leading to bandster hell or worse bandster inferno!!!

I have no idea when they will let me have a fill... Getting the staples out tomorrow so will let the low down... Also the port site is so tender... I over did it again yesterday and paid for it last night feeling pulling/tearing/stabbing hmmmm

K xxx

Monday, March 29, 2010

A new lowest on the scales...

Weighed in this morning as I can feel the weight moving... The number I saw kind of shocked me (275lbs) thats 4.5kg (9,9lbs) in 5 days !!!!! and 9.6kg (21 lbs)since starting optifast!

So heres the million dollar question.... Should I expect it to stay off.. I really dont want to put it back on !

I am not super hungary but can tell when I need some more shake or soup.

Morning people xxx
I just realised that I am actually banded!!!! and I am starting to beleive that this could change my life! After everything I've been through with my wieght this may actaully work............ wow I feel like doing a happy dance ! Sorry just had to share !

Day 4 ...

So last night I had a lot of pain whilst moving around in bed kind a pulling sensation it felt terrible and frighten me a bit..

Today I was up early and showered managed another blow dry, straighten and a touch of make up all before 9am. Headed off to do some jobs at the post office and store. My friend called in for a cup of tea midmorning and bought tea and mags! Then at lunch I head into town on a 45min drive to pick up my dad in the city.. Not my smartest move. I got out of the car and whilst slinging my bag over my should got another crippling pulling sensation on my left side and across to the port site hmmmmm I was in so much pain for a good 10mins before it settled.

So that was my reminder that I am only 4 days post op and need to chill out!!! I keep saying yes to all the things people are asking me to do. I think becasue I am off people keep asking me to do things for them. I am on sick leave I need to rest.. I am also working out what the sensations mean.. the full sensation I think I have that one filed now!

Today Food wise I managed..

100mls Meal replacement

60mls banana smoothie

100lms meal replacement

4 tablespoons of caustard

1000mls of water so far..

Not really hungary but tummy is rumbling a lot this evening not sure what that means...

I hope I am doing everything right... And I hope I havnt done any damage to my band hmmm!

Loving keeping up with all your blogs over the last few days its nice to have some down time !

K xxx

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Day 3 .... settling in..

I have been home now for over 24 hours. Things are going well, Slept last night 2 blocks of four hours which was better then I thought. Woke up feeling really well, I went on to spend almost an hour showering and getting dressed, even managed to put some colour on my face and blow dry and straighten my hair!

My family called past at 9am and I was up making tea and coffee for them all. Then my sister and nephew came over and I was up making more cups of tea. Then my parents came over and I made more cups of tea and hot cross buns for everyone but me!!! haha I think they really don't realise what Ive had done! So it's 4pm and Ive just managed a short walk around to the local store for some milk.

Feeling rather tired now and a tad achy, so more pain meds for me! Its my Brothers 30th birthday today and may parents are hosting him a dinner party of yummy Thai food! I have decided to go after they eat just in time to sing happy birthday and give him a present! I am not really Hungary well I dont think I am.. My tummy is rumbling and gurgling a lot.

Today I've had

Brekkie 125mls meal replacement shake

Snack 125mls Meal replacement shake

Lunch 125mls Meal replacement shake
30mls yogurt

Snack 50mls banana smoothie milk, banana, vanilla yogurt Blended till smooth

Dinner I am planning soup and maybe some custard


I hope I am not over doing it.. the Meal replacement shake is a premix shake that comes in a 375ml carton which is 207cals for the whole thing so Ive split it into 3 serves.

So I wonder did the scales move at this stage for everyone else?? what should i expect!!!

Big hello to the new followers welcome to my blog xxx

K xxxx

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Made it to the other side!

So after all my anxious moments and nerves I made it I am banded!!

Thursday night after my little panic about the missing period, I actually got so stressed out that I got this red itchy rash all over my body. I was pulling my skin off almost like hives. So at midnight I was standing in a cool shower trying to get it to stop itching. Managed 3 hours sleep before I woke again scratching. It was almost time to get up anyway so up I got. I had a Telefast to stop the itching.. not sure if I was meant to but it worked and the itching stopped.

Got to the hospital at 6am as they had asked as I was first on the list. All signed in and then had to say goodbye  as I was going straight through to pre-op and then theater. I hate saying goodbye just did it quickly and off I went. Questions, health check, weigh in and gowned. Then more waiting! My over the top anaesthetist had told me that I would get a "gin and tonic" before going through to the larger operating theater. Quite funny really he gave it to me and it didnt really touch the sides I was chatting away and started teasing him say that if it was suppose to make me stop talking it hadnt worked, well he says here's your next shot of G&T bang I dont remember a thing from then on! hahahahaah so glad I dont remember the mask on my face part ewww...

So woke up in recovery and that wasnt too bad.. I didnt realise that I would be in the high dependency ward just because they wanted to monitor me closely with the morphine they had give me and I was considered high risk. That's where I spent the night getting ob's every two hours, so not much sleep for me! I did vomit shortly after getting back to the ward and once after trying 40mls of milk for dinner... ohhh so nasty vomiting after this surgery!

So at 4am I got up to use the bathroom and there is was my missing period.. Cheeky tart that she is... why today and not 3 days ago! I normally have the worst time pain wise with them and this one isnt any different. The pain meds are helping a bit but I did take a naprogesic (like Midol) as well which I am hoping I was allowed to do!

So far today Ive had, Brekkie 4 spoonfuls of jelly and a cup of tea. Lunch 50mls of Optifast shake, and now another sweet cup of tea. for dinner I might try some custard. Loving the sweet, milky warm tea very soothing. trying with the water also!

So a massive thanks you all for replying and reading my blog. your support is so amazing you guys really understand and I look forward to sharing more!
K
xxxxxxxx

Thursday, March 25, 2010

it was the night before surgrey...

ok so I've been mildly anxious all day.... and now I just got a whole lot more anxious infact I am diving into a mild panic... I've just realised something is missing ... something very important Holy crappola.. My period is 8 days late.... 8 days what the... its never ever this late...

Could the weight loss have messed with it... Ive never wanted it to come so badly...

oh I could cry...

crap ...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

2 more sleeps....

I got up this morning and and weighed in... YAY YAY YAY YAY I have lost 5.4kg 10lb8oz on my post op diet !!! Just in the nick of time hey! They asked me to loose 5kg! Now I am just frightened about keeping it all off for another 2 days!!

I am still a little nervous about Friday ... I keep thinking what if I don't wake up... I think I've been spooked by an incident at work on the weekend, had a well and healthy women die whilst having her baby. It was so rare what she died of by she was 23 and had no pre existing health conditions!! Of course there has been lots going on at works about it so I guess its on my mind.

Ive almost finished my handover for my job which I will be meeting with the person being me for the 2 weeks tomorrow. I am feeling anxious about this too but very ready to hand it over and not think about it anymore.

Did anyone have a last favorite meal? Some people have asked me if I am going too.. Personally I don't really see the point. Why wound I need to have one last meal.. I guess for me it wouldn't be fast food maybe something gourmet...or chocolate.. But is my head not in the right place if I am even thinking about this....hmmm

So now that work is almost done I plan to catch up on all your blogs and keep you all updated about whats going on here!

xxxx

Sunday, March 21, 2010

5 days till band day!!!

So the count down is going so quickly now... 5 days till band day!

Wow its taken so long for this week to arrive and now its here and I feel like I am trying to put the brakes on!

In the last 2 weeks,

Ive doubted the band.. wondered if it will really work

Questioned my own strength to get through this

Kept picturing the moment they put the mask on your face to put you to sleep arhhh scary!

Had some anxiety about handing over my job for 2 weeks!

Started telling more people about the pending surgery...

So I have 3 days at work.. 3 fairly intense days Id say then I am off until the 10th of April. I have a question to all you banders that have gone before me! Is there anything I should buy food, meds anything before Friday!! any advice please!!

Looking forward to a interesting week a head!

K xx

Sunday, March 14, 2010

The dreaded BBQ!!!

So yesterday was a little hard.. weekends really do suck when it comes to trying to do the PreOp diet. A few slip up on Saturday I tried so hard... hmmmpffff...

Then today we had a BBQ birthday to go to. I told the host about my preop diet and that if she didnt mind we would come late after they had eaten. Mainly to avoid the questions as to why I wasnt eating. So we thought we timed it perfectly but we arrived just as they were eating!!!! anyway I made the excuse that we had just eaten at a prior event!!! BBQ smell.. onions on the grill !!!!!!!!!! I just sipped my water and chatted... I survived I then came home to dinner veggies stir fried and I just an hour ago caved in and ate 3 squares of chocolate WTF is wrong with me !!!!

ohh I feel crappier and I now have a killer headache!!!!

Going to try to stay super focused this week! I have an appointment on Thursday to check on my pre op weight loss ohhhh and I am pre menstrual too which is not going to help with the scales doh doh !!!

taking my self to bed... Ohh how I hate Mondays 5am start bahh..!

K xxx

Friday, March 12, 2010

Getting my groove .....

so today is day 8 of the pre op diet!! I SURVIVED!!!

I feel a massive sense of achievement today.. I did 4 days of the recommended 2 meal replacements and 1 protein serve and veggies and 3 of full meal replacements. The scales this morning were down yay yay yay... Loss of 2.9kg or 6.3LBS Thanks Goodness! All that hard work was not lost...

So this week going to back it up... hoping for another 3kg... Going to try for 3 workouts!

13days to OP day woohoo

xxx

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Are we there yet !

hanging in there... by a thread..

day 5 today ohh my god is that all.....

Tiredness has hit an all time high as has the grumpiness that comes with feeling Hungary all the bloody time!!!

Lots of nauseous and feeling yucky...

I have found distraction the best tool and water. also a little panadol hasnt gone astray!

16 days to go!

will post more later and try to stop whinging...

K xxx

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Scales down another 200g this morning.. so 700g in 2 days...

Feeling really empty... I have a constant hungur that just hangs around..

Its a stormy morning here with lots of rain.. the kind of weather that makes you snuggle up in your trackies and eat rasin toast and hot tea... hmmm well that is happening in this house this morning and I am just sitting here enjoying my chocolate shake and hot tea with no sugar arhhhh....trying not to smell that amazing smell of hot rasin toast bahhhh..

Off to work shortly so that a good thing keeps me busy.. It may be a long week!

K xx

The pre op diet has started

So today is day 2 of the preop diet...

7kg just seemed like far too much weight to loose in 10days so I decided to start a few days early.. I have to loose 5kg (11 lbs) by the 18th and 7kg (15.4lbs) by the 26th arhhhhhhhhh.......

So yesterday was tough but I got through it..

Brekkie - Shake

Lunch - shake

arvo snack - Cream of cauli soup
(from my sureslim cook book less the 30cals per serve)

Dinner
Roasted zucchini, tomato, asparagus and broccoli
on a bed of Notatoes ( whipped cauli from Tony Ferguson cookbook)it actually tastes like mashed potatoes)
with 120g of seasoned chicken breast mince

Diet yogurt

2.5L of water

This is the diet I was given.. some people I know have had to do 3 shakes a day and no food. Just hoping I have the same results!

Hoping I am on track... scales down .5kg this morning!!

19 days to go !!!!!!!

K xxx

Friday, March 5, 2010

pre op count down....

This morning I saw the surgeon for the first time other times I had just seen his assistants. I got the talk... the committment talk which I appreciated hearing..

They gave me my supply of Optifast... and the news that I have to do optifast for 2 weeks.. I must loose 7kg before the 26th of March other wise they may considar not doing my surgrey !!!! arhhhhhh

Have dietician on the 15th and then a weigh in on the 18th to see if I am close to my goal ohh my goodness!!!!

All this and still 3 babies to arrive before I start my SL on the 25th arhhhhh

20 days to go!!!!!!!

Happy weekend people xxxx

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The cold hard truth

So today I started the process of updating my Passport.. I had to get one of those unattractive passport photos. Well once it was done and handed over to me I was shocked and perhaps speechless about the cold hard truth before me.. My face.. double maybe triple chin.. puffy cheeks and no definition no cheek bones, my neck so thick and chunky I felt sick... wow so disgusted !

I am ready body.. I am ready to help you get out of this state your in and I am so sorry I've take so long to help you work and move better....

So tomorrow 830am is my last pre op appt and I hopefully will have my preop diet instructions as I am so ready for the next part!

Feeling kinda flat today, frustrated and so ready for change... Still cant bring my self to post any pictures of my before state!! Maybe the eve of surgery will be when I am ready!

K xxx

Saturday, February 27, 2010





Still counting down the days.... 37 to go till lap band day!!! Feeling like I am in some kind of odd limbo... Do I start the liquid diet now.. do I wait till my doctors ask me too... Do I enjoy the foods now that I know will be off the menu as soon as I have the band... It's a very odd feeling... What Ive come up with is eating as balanced as I can.. cutting down on carbs. Its such a difficult place to be in arhhhh!

So yesterday whilst out shopping I found the new book by Susan Hepburn Hypno Diet... when I got home I had this horrible feeling of wow I've been conned again!! but anyway I will read it maybe it will give some insight about the mental/emotional aspects of this journey! Ill certainly let you know what the verdict is !

K xx

Sunday, February 21, 2010

the closet...


So today I had a date with closet ... Ive had a love hate relationship with my closet for the past 20 years. My closet contains... the biggest size I have ever been Size 26 then every size to the smallest size I have been Size 16. Mind you I was only a size 16 for maybe 1 month in 2007! But I hold on to those jeans like they are my salvation! I also have a full built in closet that is busting with hanging clothes, a tallboy with 5 drawers over full and 3 space saver bags in suitcases under the bed!!!!! Well Today I went through everything... I threw out 4 bags of clothing... 2 bags to the salvos.... and 1 bag of things to sell as they still had tags!!!!




After sorting everything I split it into 4 piles, wear now, size 22-20, size 20-18 and size 18-16. I took some photos see above ... Out of everything in my closet about 15% of it I am able to wear now.... Everything else is too small.... **tears**


It was such an emotional few hours folding some of my fav clothes putting them away.... I feel even more determined to get this band and get it working...


I found a pair of jeans that I bought when I was in the US in 2007! They are size 18 Dickie's girl jeans boot cut! they are my fav! I also have a tshirt that I bought at the Hard Rock cafe in Las Vegas its nothing special its just a t'shirt cap sleeve, its something a "skinny gal" would wear, its a size XXL but a slim fit!! The day I can get into the jeans and wear my T'shirt will be the day I celebrate ! I hope to wear this out fit to the states next year... ohh if only !


So now I have my celebration out fit set, I just have to find that official before pic !
K xxx












Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Bari Bear arrived ...


Thank you so much Lap Band girl (http://lapbandgalsjourney.blogspot.com/) for sending me the gorgeous bear to help me post op!! I love him! it was so lovely to receive it!


Here's a picture of him arriving at my house in Australia all the way from Oregon !!
I promise to pass him on to someone else as soon as I am post op and healed!
The sisterhood of the traveling bear !!!!
xxxxx





Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Counting the days,,,,

36 Days, till my band Op!!!!

No word from the surgeon on a pre op diet yet... I wonder if I will have to do one ! Part of me wants to to hurry up the weight loss!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Sticking to the plan!!!!

So its been a big weekend of thinking and trying to work out what to do in regards to my brother telling me that his wedding will be on March 27th !!!!

Who plans a wedding in 6 weeks and gives their interstate guests 6wks notice!!!!! grrrrrrr

Anyway after talking to my family and then my brother! I have decided that I wont be going to the wedding. I was so torn for a few days, but I feel I need to honour my commitment to the band and changing my life.

I truly believe that is my brother really wanted all his family there he would have given us all at least 2 months notice. I ended up telling him about my surgery plans and he said he really didn't want me to change it ! so that's sorted I wont be going ! I am relieved but still a tad sad...

So I was meant to have my final appt with my surgeon Monday just gone... I went to get my bloods down the morning of the appointment then after reading what tests they had ordered realised that they were meant to be fasting!!!!! So I had to move my appointment till March 1st! So that will be 3 wks out from my surgery!

Getting ready for a massive week with 3 12hour shifts over the next 2 days ......

Have a fab week peoples K xxxx

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Testing email posting!!!

Sent from my iPhone

what to do....

Tonight my brother who lives in another state approx 8hours away... Has announced that he is getting married on March 27th!!!!!! My banding date is March 26th!!! boooooo

So what do I do... I really feel that I cant miss his wedding... but I really want/need my band...

Will have to see if my some miracle that I can get a date in the week that follows as I have already booked my annual leave and someone to replace me...

arhhh what to do !! Help !

Friday, February 12, 2010

Twitter....

So I am just starting to get into twitter now that I understand it a bit better!

Does anyone else have it... I'd love to follow some more people... at the moment I just have famous people and a few businesses!!!

If you want to share your twitter let me know and I'll add you!!!

Tweet Tweet !

DOH!!

I forgot to do my bloods for my appointment on Monday!!! grrrr crappo!!!

Will have to see if they are open on Saturdays and try to get it done in the morning!!!

So excited that the sisterhood of the traveling bear is coming down under to me shortly I'll be sure to post some pics!!!

I am also still trying to pick a before photo to post... at this stage still pre banded everything looks terrible..

K xxx

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want too....

Yes it is my birthday.... and what an emotional time its been!


Nothing upsets me more then people who assume how you feel.... or what you opinion might be !

My family upset me yesterday and made the whole evening dinner about them... ohhh I was kinda glad it was over when we left ! I had planned to go out for dinner but changed my plans at last minute for them.. we really shouldn't have...

Its hot and Humid here so uncomfortable and that's making me grumpier! I've had 2 days off and I am finally getting on top of somethings like sleep after working a 120hr fortnight... Dare I say I am looking forward to my 2 weeks sick leave hehehehe!

I did think that this will hopefully be my last fat birthday ! wow I so hope that is true!

My banding date is getting close.... 6 weeks on Friday !!! Last pre op visit Monday !

Hope you all have an awesome week xxx

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Finally joined Lapbandtalk.com....

Wow is there some information on there!!!

I may be there for the rest of the week reading!!!

K xx

Friday, February 5, 2010

Getting my band next month!




Wow what a week.... Holy Moly .... Deep breath...


Ive clocked about 64 hours at work this week and there is still one more working day in the week.


Thank god it's Friday!!! As the weekends are quieter even if I am on call! 4 births this week which is a lot for 1 week! So now I have 4 brand new babies to weigh and look after for the next 6 weeks. Still 3 more births for the month to happen! and then March starts!


On Wednesday I was at a birth for 17 hours and at one stage I thought... wow my job really isn't glamorous..... Haha if someone asked me what I did at work today... My answer would be... well I knelt by a birth pool for 5 hours... I then squatted on the floor for 3 hours... then I had my head in a woman's arm pit as she hung off me pushing... then I had my ear to the floor delivering a baby! then I cleaned up the mess.... but the lack of glamour is over powered by the overwhelming honour of delivering someones treasured baby... arhhh what a week!


On the band news.... 1 wk Monday till my last pre op appointment... woohooo... I must get my bloods done asap! Ive been a bit slack taking my metformin so my sugar cravings are back this week doh doh !!!


My surgery is next month wooohoooo... be it the end of the month but its still next month yay yay!!!!!


Happy Friday people xxxxx

Saturday, January 30, 2010

waiting waiting waiting..

I am learning my triggers for bad eating and not exercising.... I worked 9 days straight this fortnight today is my first day at home!!! So limited sleep... no time to get organised and long hours all equal bad food choices and no exercise!

So I am setting some goals for this week starting Monday... Being the first week of feb!

1. Plan for the day ahead... ie Pack my lunch the night before and plan evening meals in advance

2. Reduce carbs...... Stop eating bread!!!!

3. Use the Wii everyday and weigh in everyday to make me accountable!!!

Ive gained and lost the same 3 kilos in the last 4 weeks... no annoying!

17 days till my pre op appointment !!! I cant wait !!!!

Tomorrow I am going to spend the day doing a week meal planner... shopping for the food on the planner.... planting new veggies and spend a little time with the Wii

Ill keep you all posted on the week!

xxxx