Sunday, January 17, 2010

Unsettled...

My mind is all over the place at the moment and my emotions are so up and down..

There is a lot of factors that contribute to this.. but not one that stands out..

Now that I have started the band journey well at least the planning journey its kind of like I am admitting a few thing to my self.. Maybe I choose not to see them before or not to believe them before.

The weekend was one of the lowest times I've had maybe ever.. or maybe for at least 2 years... I cried for most of Saturday and once I started I couldn't stop.. I am not really even sure why? I didn't know how to answer the question "whats wrong?" because I didn't know and still don't..

I think it had been building all week...

Sometime I feel like I am on the outside looking in on this person that I don't even really know...

6 comments:

Jennifer said...

Hi! I'm a new follower but I had to let you know that I had the same feeling about a month before my surgery. Not sure why it happens, but my sister said the same thing happened to her (She also has the band.) Don't worry too much and just know that you've made the right decision and you are SO close to the beginning of a wonderful journey. Take Care, Jen
http://jenslapbandjourney.blogspot.com/

meandmygizmo said...

{{{hugs}}} I think once the surgery date was given to me I didn't really have time to think about anything ~ it all happened so quickly after that.....and I had totally made up my mind that lapband was for me. Chin up! ;-)

THE DASH! said...

It was the same for me - once my surgery date was set, that was it. No time for thinking.

Your mind is obviously processing what you are about to do ... and I remember those times (non band related) when I would cry for 'no good reason I could think of.' It's just your bodies way of releasing stress. Go with the flow, darl, let it happen. It's actually good for you.

I am a huge advocater of the band and I still think you're making the right decision - if its what you really want. Just know in your mind that you have made the right decision also. I think its pre-band jitters. :) Take care, thinking of you.
Cara

Debi said...

I agree with the rest. We all get emotional when we start to realize what we are committing ourselves to! It is totally natural thing, although it can be hard to explain, even to ourselves why!

The Former Fat Girl said...

Sending you some hugs ! It's totally norm..I think that I was so wrapped up in the process that I didnt realize the emotional extent of everything that was about to happen that the week before I totally broke down. I was so excited but scared and terrified of the procedure and then what if it wasnt gonna wokr for me what was I gonna do ??!!!
I think it's because we are so used to being the care givers that it's foreign and overwhelming to accept that we are the ones that need the care now and all the what if's that come along with it.
WOrry not my dear you are doing the right thing and pretty soon it will be all smiles and cheers for the wonderful things that are about to happen !!

tessierose said...

Hi there. First let me thank you for visiting my blog and for your kind comments. I just finished reading all of your entries and I love your blog. Your honesty is touching and I so feel you pain right now. For me, I came to realize that I had been using food as an anesthetic. I was really not feeling things that were happening to me, because I was eating through the situation rather than feeling through the situation. When I got my food under control, the feelings were so sharp and unmanageable that I really felt out of control. I felt like my skin could not contain me. I spent a lot of time in therapy trying to learn how to manage my feelings a little better, but still find that I want to turn to food when I'm sad or hurt. The good thing is that we are not in this alone. What a community we have found in these blogs. Hang in there and best of luck to you.
Take care.
Tessie
"Band me Baby!"